Friday, 31 January 2014

"Why Aren't You Going to School? What Are You Doing?"

Tonight, I thought I'd write up a response to the most common questions I get from friends and family. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, "Are you ever going to go to school?" or, "What do you do all day?" These are fair questions. I have a good answer for one, and a not-so-good answer for the other.

I'll start with the question with the underwhelming answer. What do I do all day? I don't know. What am I doing with my life? Yeah...don't have the answer to that one, either. See, I have plans, but those plans can't really be carried out straight away. My goals, I'm afraid, are to be put on hold for the time being. I'll get more into that in a moment. But as for the question about what I do all day...shit, I dunno. For the past several months, my sleeping pattern has been all over the place. I sleep during the day and stay up late into the night. I've developed a bit of a reputation for yawning relentlessly, and my catchphrase has ended up becoming, "You're not boring me, I'm just tired". This perpetual state of sedation has caused my days and nights to become blurred. They go by so quickly, I feel like I don't have the time, or energy, to do anything.

In recent days, I've become much better than I have been in the past at keeping up with the housework. The kitchen has been immaculate, the dust hasn't had much of a chance to collect around the apartment, and I think I've done a pretty good job at keeping the "cat smell" to a minimum. I look for work (those of you who watch my Youtube videos may remember that I was supposed to start a job in December. That fell through, due to no fault of my own or the employer, I'll tell that story later), but, as many can relate, finding a job isn't very easy.

I fill my days with playing my guitar, reading (right now, I'm cheating a little bit and listening to the Lord of the Rings on CD. Not actually reading, but still, better than nothing!), going to the gym, daydreaming, food-shopping...the typical housewife stuff. If only my cooking were up to scratch, I'd be a real June Cleaver. As a homebody, I don't really mind spending so much time indoors, especially since Junior the Kitten came into my life a month ago. But, it's not a particularly fulfilling lifestyle, and in 2015, I hope for that all to change.

2015, eh? Why wait? Because 2015 is when I'm eligible for citizenship. February of 2015, to be exact. In just over a year, I can become a British citizen. That will open a few doors for me; one of which, I'm very excited about. University. Technically, I could go to University now. There's no law that prohibits me from doing so. The problem, though, is that without citizenship, I a) would have to pay much, much higher tuition, and b) would not qualify for a student loan. Financially, it's just not doable in my current situation. After gaining citizenship, University will be a much more realistic option.

If you didn't figure it out by now, going to University is my goal. It's the one big dream for this decade of my life. I'm wanting to get a degree in performing arts. To tell you the truth, everything besides that seems like a waste of time. It's what I've got my heart set on, and I'm determined to make it happen.

So, there's a rather long explanation for what's going on and why I'm not in school. I have every intention of going to school and doing something I enjoy. I just feel like I gotta wait it out for a while before I'm able to take that next step in my journey.


  1. I was at that same place as you were a year ago no job and no school and days being a blurr it was not really a good place to be in and eventually I got sick and was unable to go back to school because I wasnt better at the start of the year .So I had to wait another year. Im currently working (hate my job, But I remind myself its important to be active.If you want to be in the performing arts mabye you can do auditions? Or mabye you can vollenteer?

  2. This is exciting and welcome news! Mika and I look forward to viewing your blog on a regular basis. In addition we have added your blog to our blogroll. You contributed an article to our blog last year, a piece on the Mormon conception of Satan. We hope you will continue to contribute as a guest author. Your videos on your exit from Mormonism are most interesting. We like to discuss faith and morals on our blog and are interested in hearing what others have to say.

    We are sorry to hear the job fell through, but hopefully a new opportunity will come up before long. Keep focused on your dream of getting a degree in performing arts. You will get there. :-)

  3. > I fill my days with playing my guitar, . . .
    > and listening to the Lord of the Rings on CD.

    The Rob Inglis-narrated unabridged edition, I hope? ;->

    Well, that's cool. Savor the experience!